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  • Writer's pictureCandy Brasfield

He won't let me!

Many husbands absolutely love & adore seeing their wife's boudoir photos, and they're super supportive of her having a boudoir session. But what if you're really wanting this experience for yourself, and you are married to a man who says NO? If your husband expresses discomfort or reluctance regarding you booking a boudoir session, I believe the important thing to do first is to get to the root of why he's feeling that way by having an open & honest adult conversation. Now I'm not gonna lie...my brain immediately goes to the whole women's empowerment movement, "I do what I want! Ain't no man gonna tell me what I can & can't do!" But...if you want to approach this with some level of maturity IF you are in a healthy relationship (note that NONE of this will matter if you are not in a healthy relationship!), here are some tips:


  1. Express Your Feelings:

  • "I understand that you may feel uncomfortable with the idea of a boudoir session, and I want to talk about our feelings and concerns openly."

  1. Share Your Intentions:

  • "I want you to know that my intention is not to make you uncomfortable or disrespect our relationship. I see it as a way to celebrate my own body and femininity."

  1. Ask for Understanding:

  • "I would love to hear more about your feelings on this matter and what specific concerns you may have. I want us to understand each other better."

  1. Address Concerns:

  • "If there's a specific aspect of the boudoir session that makes you uneasy, let's discuss it. I want to ensure we are both on the same page and find a solution that works for both of us."

  1. Explore Compromise:

  • "Is there a middle ground we can find? Maybe we can discuss the type of photos or the setting to make it more comfortable for you while still allowing me to have a positive experience."

  1. Educate About Boudoir Sessions:

  • "I think boudoir sessions can be empowering and a celebration of self-love. If you're open to it, we can look at some examples together, so you have a better understanding of what it means to me."

  1. Reassure Your Commitment:

  • "I want you to know that my interest in a boudoir session doesn't change my love and commitment to our relationship. Your feelings are important to me, and I want us to find a solution that respects both of us."

Remember, the key is open communication, and EDUCATION. Educating your husband on what boudoir is or isn't, showing him examples of our work, etc., can go a long way. Some guys honestly just don't "get" what boudoir actually is. A lot of people really do have some skewed idea of what boudoir is, and once it is better explained, men can feel a lot more at ease.


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